Date Everything: The Game That Lets You Safely Get Intimate With Your Vacuum Cleaner Announces a New Release Date

Great news: your ambitious plans to get cozy with every item in your abode this summer are back on track. And yes, we’re talking virtually here. The quirky indie dating sim, Date Everything, has officially announced a new release date after a minor delay. Initially set to make its grand entrance on Valentine’s Day, it’s now gracing our screens on June 17.

Never heard of it? Well, let me fill you in. If you’ve ever fancied donning a pair of whimsical glasses and striking up romantic escapades with a door, a piano, or even a laundry basket, then Date Everything is right up your alley. Picture these ordinary objects given life by voices like Ben Starr from Final Fantasy 16, Ashley Burch of the Horizon series, or the witty Neil Newbon from Baldur’s Gate 3.

The developers, Sassy Chap Games, haven’t just gifted us with a new date—June 17, remember—they’ve also unleashed a fresh trailer. This piece of eye candy is introduced by Skylar, a character voiced by the talented Felicia Day, known from Fallout: New Vegas and Supernatural. In this trailer, you’ll be introduced to your magical “Dateviator” glasses, which have the power to animate the inanimate, transforming everyday objects around you into potential romantic interests with just a few seconds of your gaze.

As unconventional as it sounds, it’s less bizarre than you’d think. Take the house’s front door, for instance, which morphs into Dorian, a charming himbo with a gravelly voice, a beard, and a few hints of his original form—perfect for someone whose daily existence involves being a door.

You’ll also encounter Wallace, a barbarian straight out of a Conan story, who was once a mere wall, and Winnifred, a water heater reimagined as a mix between a Greek goddess and a Dalek. Even a vacuum cleaner named Hoovie makes the cut. In total, the game offers 100 fully voiced datable characters, and the trailer even teases the possibility of a toilet character.

Our very own Kelsey previewed the game last month and noted, “Relationships can be unpredictable, after all. And when you’re dating floorboards, coat hangers, or game consoles, the unpredictability only increases. Date Everything seems poised to deliver relaxing, wacky fun that you can dive back into time and again, much like the silliness of Hatoful Boyfriend and Monster Prom. Quite the crowd to be compared to, fittingly enough for a game with such an eccentric theme.”

And let’s be honest, any opportunity to flirt with the likes of power-fisting aficionado Veronica Santangelo, assuming Day’s character is in the mix, is one we should seize.